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Selfie: 5/22/2016

I haven’t blogged in a while. I recently turned 35, which I don’t care for. But I’ve been feeling happier than normal lately and I haven’t hated myself nearly as much as I usually do. I think this is largely the result of quitting Facebook, exercising every day, and getting a promotion at work.

I painted a self-portrait last week. I’ve lost a lot of weight over the last 10.5 months - about 40 pounds. After my divorce in 2009, I gained a lot of weight (well, actually, at first, I lost a lot of weight, then I gained it all back and then added a lot more). So for the last six or seven years, I’ve had body image issues that have contributed to my social anxieties. I avoided having my picture taken. I avoided social interaction because I felt fat and I didn’t want people to notice that I was fat.

However, last June, I was diagnosed with a bunch of issues - high-blood pressure, high-cholesterol, Gout, and a bulging disc in my neck. I was miserable and dealing with chronic pain. So I decided to claw my way out of the shadows and get back to the person that I used to be.

Since June, I’ve worked out every day, six days a week. I still have about 35 pounds to lose to get back to where I want to be (or a 10% drop in my body fat). I’m probably stronger than I’ve ever been, even at the peak of my high school football years. Recently, I did three sets of 12 on the bench press with 225 pounds.  I can’t remember ever being able to do that, even at the peak of my weight lifting years.

So I feel good. I’m starting to shed some of the body image issues. I felt like a self portrait was appropriate.